claydols: my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
johnfkennedy: angellakaye: johnfkennedy: she wears short skirts. i am john f kennedy. shes cheer captain and im john f kennedy i cnta breth what? she wears short skirts. i am john f kennedy. shes cheer captain and im john f kennedy
meladoodle: we’re terribly sorry, but you can’t put your disobedient child in the stowaway luggage, you’re just going to have to carry on your wayward son
thecapn: did you know that teachers are instructed to get in between two boys in an altercation and break their eye contact because boys will disengage once the immediate situation is interrupted but they’re instructed to like never ever get in between two girls in a fight because girls wont stop after they lose sight and will actively try to go through whatever’s in between them and teachers...
poopflow: a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance and scream old sport when you climax
Nothing can wear you out like caring about people.– S.E. Hinton (via phenomenaaa)
faramircaptainofgondor: on hbo’s official website, the “don’t have hbo?” box features jon snow im stupid for laughing so hard at this you don’t even have hbo, jon snow. WILL HIS SUFFERING EVER END???? be nice to him hbo, catelyn tried to kill him with the pox that one time
the worst feeling in the world is knowing a person means more to you than you mean to them
slythermint: when i was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band he said, “son when—”
princeowl: hannibal is such a serious business gritty gory show and the fandom is just
i never really liked my name much until i found out what it tastes like when you sigh it into my mouth
snowmiserr: one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me. and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon” he said...
great gatsby deleted scene
((playing wii sports with gatsby))
nick: just because some cute girl likes the same bizarro rich people crap as you that doesn't make her your soul mate
sadillite: all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant
ashde-phernelia: sweet-shenanigans: sararye: theatomicboom: how do you think they made up the dark mark tattoo though like did voldemort design it in his free time in between manipulating people and releasing basilisks on muggle borns because he has some mad drawing skills let me tell you what one thing is for sure it wasn’t hermione GUYS THERE’S AN 8 IN THE DARK MARK VOLDEMORT...
ship-all-the-gay: so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them. they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly I think the factory workers need help
crownedfrog asked: ApolloApolloApolloApolloApolloApollo
thusspakekate: strikeraider: deathviashowerskanking: stopandsmellthedata: ensanguinedbirdy: thefandomlyfe: justlaughit-off: fancyrussiansushi: heyitspj: scuzzmutt: what is the purpose of training bras??? what are we trying to teach the boobs they are trained to be the very breast like no one ever bras to catch them is my real chest to train them are my tata’s I will...
thickbrowsensei: misskenzierain: thickbrowsensei: Well ya know just waiting on season two of Korra you misspelled season three of sherlock you misspelled my foot in your ass
Greek Pantheon Asks
Aphrodite: What do you find attractive in a partner?
Apollo: Favourite song?
Ares: If you had to fight someone in a duel, what would be your weapon of choice?
Artemis: Favourite animal?
Athena: Do you have any special talents?
Demeter: Favourite food?
Dionysus: Favourite drink?
Hades: If you could meet a person from history, who would it be and why?
Hephaestus: If you could learn a skill instantly, what would you choose?
Hera: Do you want to get married and/or have children?
Hermes: Where in the world would you most like to visit?
Hestia: Where do you most want to live?
Poseidon: If you were shipwrecked on a tropical island, what would you want to have with you?
Zeus: If you ruled the world, what would you change?
thepensivebrony: “you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you” finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
caitlynsfeels: theanti90smovement: i kissed a boy once and now i am immortal basically the young adult section of any bookstore
drarna: the word ‘phonetically’ doesn’t even start with an f. shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us.
textpostsrus: smattenhove: cacen: teapartyasian: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated smad. angrad